A little part of mine, story of SWC 3 Jakarta

Even if I stretched my arms, I still couldn't reach you ... 

I still remembered that day, clearly, oppa. I was standing in the middle of pearleascent skyblue ocean, shouting SHINee for thousand times. MEIS was crowded, and in the middle of our waiting, we enjoyed SHINee's songs from past until now. Happiness, it should be called. Honestly I was like in the middle of unconsciousness because my tears has been flowing for about 2 days since SM declared that Onew oppa couldn't attend the concert. The news was like a lightening stabbing my heart, I cried a lot although I was at class at that time. Honestly, on June 22nd, at 6 am-10 pm I was waiting, I was waiting for some miracles .... Onew oppa confirmed he would come to Jakarta. So during the concert, I kept waiting until the very end. It wasn't I didn't like the rest of SHINee's members and only liked onew, I love SHINee so much, to the moon and back. But my bias is Onew oppa. How much I wanted to see him? I couldn't even describe by words, I really want to see him directly. That was why I gave my all to attend SHINee World Concert III at Jakarta, my money my time and many more. Even I used much less money than before, because I planned to buy some merchandises. Thankfully I could buy some, T-shirts, lightsticks, towel, and snapbag. Maybe they're not complete merchandise, but I and my sister were happy having them. But oppadeul, sorry, I couldn't feel as happy as I expected before the D-day of SWC, it wasn't because you didn't do well. YOU DID VERY WELL, thank you. But the sadness still remained, I couldn't lie to myself that I felt sad and happy at the same time. I did crying at the end of SWC, I just couldn't take it anymore. The video of Onew oppa was like another lightening stabbed my heart. Hey, I heard there'll be SMTown Jakarta at October 2014, oh this should be my turn to meet and see Onew oppa. But sadly, I'm not rich, and to be honest I have spent much money back then during SWC. I dont think I can buy a ticket ... Eventhough I wanted to see you Onew oppa, so badly. Really, I never expected that the destiny would be like this. 

Maybe God didn't allow me to meet you at June 22nd 2014, or maybe not at SMTown, I don't know when ... what I know is I just want to see your smile directly so I know you're real. Whenever and wherever I met you, Onew oppa, please stay healthy and shining like the shinniest star. Would you like to smile at me the moment we met? I'm your biggest fan, and forever will be.  

My promise.

Ranita 

SHINee, another name of my world

I have so many words to describe how my feeling about them, because there are too many words I’d like to tell them directly that I really love them with full of my heart, I really do. Thanks to God, to let me knew them since 2nd grade of highschool.

One thing that I really want to tell them

Thank you for ever existed in this world

And for being a happiness through my sadness

Thank you SHINee, even words can’t describe how thankful I am. No more words can

 I promise to be a part of SHINee World forever

I’ll be by your side until a very the end of things

I LOVE YOU SHINee, PLEASE BE HERE FOREVER. PLEASE STAY STRONG THROUGH MANY THINGS. I’LL BE BY YOUR SIDE FOREVER, UNTIL NO ONE EVEN THERE TO STAND FOR YOU. I WILL AND I PROMISE

I DO.

You know what? When you tried to like another group but you couldn’t like them as well as you like SHINee, it’s time to stop looking for. Because you’re on the right path, your heart has been choosing SHINee to fulfill its room. Simply, you finally know whose you’ll stand for. It’s SHINee

Unrevealed Apology

Okay maybe it's not such a wonderful words to be said, to be heard. Truthfully I just wanna you know how sad I am, knowing you expected something great from me. You should've known I'd been being a sinner. I'm angry that I couldn't even avoid myself. At first, I though it would be better if I followed the rule with my own destination, but suddenly, I realized it changed.

Sorry for not telling you directly, because I just can't. I don't think I'm ready for that sharp-gaze, hoping I'll say good things. I'm not ready to see changing in the way you stare at me, and try to hide it under your strong gaze. You must be so proud of me. I'm sorry because I'm not that good to be proud of.

You always ask me wheter I did everything sincerely, because sincerity is important. And you'll be very disappointed if you find out me didn't obey it. What I've ever done were so stupid. I'd been being crazy all the time those memories appeared up. And all I wanna do, I couldn't do. I never can't.

Thank you for caring and trusting me. I wish I didn't lie to you, and have nothing to be worried right now. I wish I could have such a bravery in my heart to face all risks. I'm so embarassed with my self everytime I hear you say "I believe you did it sincerely. I'm proud of you"

No .... If only you knew the truth, you probably have nothing to say anymore.

Bunga Mawar Merah

Jadi ceritanya adek gue, sebut saja Ulfah, urcol tentang seseorang dan nyebut-nyebut tentang bunga mawar. Entah kenapa sejak saat itu, bunga mawar terus terusan hadir di pikiran gue? Bunga mawar merah. Kenapa merah? Gatau, tapi di pikiran gue bunga mawar itu identiknya warna merah. jujur aja, gue degdegan! Kayaknya bunga mawar itu punya sebuah misteri. Kenapa kalau orang nyatain cinta ke sesorang biasanya pakai bunga mawar? Kenapa nggak melati? Anggrek? Tulip? Kamboja? KENAPAAAA??

Memang, dunia itu penuh sandiwara! (apa hubungannyaaaaa?)

Lalu, tiba-tiba sebuah lirik lagu terngiang-ngiang di kepala gue. Bunga mawar merah arti tanda cinta, yang berarti bahwa kucinta padamu~ pada tau gak lagu siapa? Ayo googling! lagunya itu asyik looh :) tapi coba deh kalian perhatiin. Bunga mawar merah arti tanda cinta, tuh kaaaaaaan! Bener kaan kalo bunga mawar itu jadi simbol cinta. Kasian deh bunga-bunga yang lain, masa mereka di nomor duakan? #apaanseh. Tenang aja kok bunga-bunga, gue nggak akan meninggalkan kalian ....

Terus, apa ya? Oh! tadi gue abis nonton Spongebob yang episode Red Mist. Dan itu merah. Masih berhubungan kan sama mawar? Haduh gatau deh, pokoknya kepala gue dipenuhi sama mawar merah dan merah. Salahin ulfah!


Rose rose you really really blow my mind!