Unrevealed Apology

Okay maybe it's not such a wonderful words to be said, to be heard. Truthfully I just wanna you know how sad I am, knowing you expected something great from me. You should've known I'd been being a sinner. I'm angry that I couldn't even avoid myself. At first, I though it would be better if I followed the rule with my own destination, but suddenly, I realized it changed.

Sorry for not telling you directly, because I just can't. I don't think I'm ready for that sharp-gaze, hoping I'll say good things. I'm not ready to see changing in the way you stare at me, and try to hide it under your strong gaze. You must be so proud of me. I'm sorry because I'm not that good to be proud of.

You always ask me wheter I did everything sincerely, because sincerity is important. And you'll be very disappointed if you find out me didn't obey it. What I've ever done were so stupid. I'd been being crazy all the time those memories appeared up. And all I wanna do, I couldn't do. I never can't.

Thank you for caring and trusting me. I wish I didn't lie to you, and have nothing to be worried right now. I wish I could have such a bravery in my heart to face all risks. I'm so embarassed with my self everytime I hear you say "I believe you did it sincerely. I'm proud of you"

No .... If only you knew the truth, you probably have nothing to say anymore.

Bunga Mawar Merah

Jadi ceritanya adek gue, sebut saja Ulfah, urcol tentang seseorang dan nyebut-nyebut tentang bunga mawar. Entah kenapa sejak saat itu, bunga mawar terus terusan hadir di pikiran gue? Bunga mawar merah. Kenapa merah? Gatau, tapi di pikiran gue bunga mawar itu identiknya warna merah. jujur aja, gue degdegan! Kayaknya bunga mawar itu punya sebuah misteri. Kenapa kalau orang nyatain cinta ke sesorang biasanya pakai bunga mawar? Kenapa nggak melati? Anggrek? Tulip? Kamboja? KENAPAAAA??

Memang, dunia itu penuh sandiwara! (apa hubungannyaaaaa?)

Lalu, tiba-tiba sebuah lirik lagu terngiang-ngiang di kepala gue. Bunga mawar merah arti tanda cinta, yang berarti bahwa kucinta padamu~ pada tau gak lagu siapa? Ayo googling! lagunya itu asyik looh :) tapi coba deh kalian perhatiin. Bunga mawar merah arti tanda cinta, tuh kaaaaaaan! Bener kaan kalo bunga mawar itu jadi simbol cinta. Kasian deh bunga-bunga yang lain, masa mereka di nomor duakan? #apaanseh. Tenang aja kok bunga-bunga, gue nggak akan meninggalkan kalian ....

Terus, apa ya? Oh! tadi gue abis nonton Spongebob yang episode Red Mist. Dan itu merah. Masih berhubungan kan sama mawar? Haduh gatau deh, pokoknya kepala gue dipenuhi sama mawar merah dan merah. Salahin ulfah!


Rose rose you really really blow my mind!